First letter from Bonita at the MTC

I was so thankful to receive this letter. It was an amazing week. I felt that I need to continue to do my best. Have love and charity for others... beginning with those in my home. I would that all should feel God's love for them when around me, just as you do when you are around a missionary.

Dear Hughes Elder and Hermana Hughes,

You will need to just print out this letter and mail it because it will be too long to read during your hour on the computer.  SO much has happened!  I hope you don't mind that I'm writing both of you together.  Tuesday afternoon Sage and Rebekah tended while we went to the temple together.  (Sam was in Boston with Michael at a Dale Carnegie training.)  

Wednesday was a traumatic day.  This is what I wrote in my journal:

We’ve known for over a month that we would be set apart today, and got up early to be ready. Stewart had an appointment to go to breakfast with DeLoy Young and Perry Johnson, old friends from Bonneville Stake, and returned about 9am. We got dressed and reached Orem before 11 on order to be on time for our 1pm appointment with Elder Anderson. And about 11:15 we got a call from his secretary asking if we were on our way — the appointment was actually at 10:30 and they'd been trying to reach us! She graciously said that if we could be there by 12:15, Elder Anderson could still set us apart. 

We dashed to the car! Fortunately everyone was dressed, although Sam didn’t have a chance to shower, and Sarah was still at swimming lessons. There was no one to tend the children because Rebekah hadn’t arrived yet, so Sage volunteered to stay home, even though we’d invited her to come. Sarah got home and immediately left without even feeding Oskar. All the way there I was wondering, “How did this happen?” “Why didn’t I follow the prompting to double-check the email?”, etc. I was so upset, and Stewart was very patient in calming me, and Fenton and Sam, who were in our car, joked about it and tried to ease my anxiety. It was a nightmare and I felt horrible.

We arrived and parked by 12:05, then waited until about 12:15 for the Smarts to arrive. We went up to Elder Anderson’s office while Rocky parked the car, and Elder Anderson greeted us very graciously and waved off our apologies for being late. I was mortified. Elder Robbins was also very kind and forgiving. I felt love instead of the disappointment and condemnation I’d expected.

They visited with us while we waited for Rocky to come. Elder Anderson asked about our children and had me go through and tell about everyone. He asked about Unicity, and counseled Stewart that he can occasionally accept phone calls or meet with his sons to make significant decisions. He talked about Clive Winn and the story of the evil behind the smiling eyes, and of golfing with Stewart.

Elder Anderson talked about the timing of our mission call. He said he couldn’t remember if he put Stewart’s name in or not, but he said that it’s like what Elder Maxwell said, that if you throw out an idea and it doesn’t take on a life of it’s own, you should just let it lie there. The timing of mission calls is similar—and this is the right time for Stewart.

He suggested to Fenton and Sam that that they should get married in the Manila temple while we’re there! He talked about how they’ve discussed letting fathers come back for weddings, but have decided it’s best that they stay.

Elder Robbins explained his connection with Stewart of being in our bishopric and knowing Mom. He told Elder Anderson that Paul, my youngest brother, is the mayor of Centerville, and that he, at Mom’s request, worked with Paul on his Personal Management merit badge to pass off his Eagle right before his 18th birthday. And that Paul got a perfect score of 36 on his ACT! 

Elder Anderson said we were well-prepared for this assignment and made us promise to tell the area presidency he wanted us to attend the cultural celebration for the new 100th stake in the Philippines the first weekend of September. He asked our children what they thought of our call, and Sarah said, “We weren’t surprised. They will be great!”

Elder Anderson talked about visiting Africa and the miracles there and that miracles happen occasionally in the church, but they are usually subtle. However, in missionary work the miracles are non-stop in the lives of the missionaries.

After glancing at the clock, Elder Anderson motioned for Stewart to take the chair to be set apart as he had a 1:00 meeting with the Missionary Executive Committee, including Elder Oaks, or he would have spent more time with us.

He set Stewart apart as president of the Quezon City North Mission and blessed him with the keys for the work. He blessed him that
—time of service will be a fruition and magnification of the gifts and talents you have been given
—you will have revelation you need and a vision for the mission
—bless you wife (she will receive her own blessing) and you will be blessed through your wife’s inspiration
—you will be warned of danger; be aware of spiritual warning
—your family will be blessed and strengthened.
—your business will be protected and prosper and will continue on the path you have set it on
—health and strength

Elder Anderson hugged him and shook his hand at the same time and Elder Robbins hugged him. It was sweet!

Elder Anderson invited me to sit in the chair and for Stewart to join them as Elder Robbins set me apart as a companion to my husband and full time missionary in the Quezon City North Mission.
—anxiety, worries about culture and changes would be swallowed up the the joy of service.
—protection from danger
—family blessed with health and safety
—gift of discernment to know the needs of missionaries and how to help them.

They shook my hand afterward and Stewart hugged me.

Elder Anderson excused himself but invited Elder Robbins to stay and give us counsel. 

Elder Robbins said we would see many miracles on our mission and suggested that I keep a record of them.

He gave us three items of advice:
1-Love your missionaries sincerely. They can tell if love is feigned.
2-Have high expectations
3-Teach effectively Teach the missionaries in with fun lessons in zone conference

He mentioned Stewart’s system of calling at EF Hutton and how that applies to missionary work.

He invited us to stay in Elder Anderson’s office after he left and suggested Stewart and I bear testimony. Stewart invited me to testify first, and I loved looking at the smiling faces of my family as I did. Then Stewart bore his testimony. Afterwards Dan asked for a father’s blessing, which Stewart gave him. Then we filed out of the office, thanking the secretary, Alisa Hale, for her kindness and patience with us. She told us not to worry, it all worked out, and if we’d been on time we wouldn’t have been able to stay and use the office.

I love my family and wish they could have all been there. And I'm sad about Sage, since I invited her and she was all ready to go, but due to our lack of attention and preparation, she wasn’t able to attend. But she was cheerful and uncomplaining and we appreciated her help so much. 

On Friday morning, Amy planned a delicious breakfast for Megan Knowles and her boyfriend, Steve Thorne.  She is visiting this weekend in Sandy to meet his parents, so Connie and Steve came from Oklahoma to meet Steve, and Megan and Steve came to Orem for a couple of hours.  He seems really nice (pretty nervous at first) and she seemed very happy.  I hope things work out between them.

Friday night we went to a trampoline place Sam's friend's family owns, and the children had a great time.  During my haircut my hair dresser thought she found skin cancer on my scalp, but fortunately the dermatologist confirmed on Saturday morning that it was not.

And then Saturday after lunch we said goodbye and drove to the MTC.  It was surreal -- people all around us were going on with our lives and it felt like we were entering another dimension.  We got our name tags, missionary credit card, and then went to our hotel until the dinner at 5pm which was with Elder Robbins and all the mission presidents in his areas. (About 30) We met five of the other mission presidents going to the Philippines and listened to some funny stories of things that have happened in our area.

Then back to the hotel and a good sleep -- probably the last time I will sleep in until 6:30 then go back to sleep until 7:30, at least for three years.

This morning began with sacrament meeting where the speaker was President Eyring.  He talked about taking Christ's gospel and his love to all of God's children, some of the opposition we may face, and how to overcome it.  He said our missionaries are specifically assigned to us and to our predecessor -- so that must be true for you two, also.  

Then we had lunch in a super crowded dining room because the real dining room is the auditorium now.  We randomly sat at a table with Elder Arden (from New Zealand) and his wife who served as Area President in the Philippines for five years.  They told us we have a beautiful mission home and gave us some advice.

Before the next meeting began, Elder Bednar reminded us to be quiet--that reverence invites revelation, and suddenly all the visiting stopped.  Then all the missionaries were introduced and slides of us shown on the big screen.  

Elder Oaks gave an introduction and counseled us to teach our missionaries that the sacrament is the central act of the Sabbath.  Many churches use identical wafers to represent the body of Christ, but we use bread, broken and torn.  Just as each piece of bread is unique, we are all different, repenting of different sins, and he encouraged us to think of the ways Christ's sacrifice applies to us, individually. He said what we take into our mouths is not as important as what we do with our minds.

Then Elder Brent Nielson, the Seventy in charge of the missionary department, told a riveting story (complete with slides) of the hurricane in Taclaban and the miracle that all 204 missionaries were safe.  He said "a culture of obedience will increase the safely of your missionaries."

Then Elder Neil Anderson taught about finding.  He had lots of slides and videos, and his presentation was amazing.  He talked about the importance of setting goals for finding people and making plans to meet them.  He said that finding is a "daily tutorial in faith."  

Elder Lynn Robbins then held a discussion with our group on finding people to teach.  He said that if a missionary has 60 hours of proselyting a week, he/she should be finding the entire time.  We should be looking for clues about how to approach each person.  He quoted Sherlock Holmes, "Watson, you see, but you do not observe."  We need to make first connections with people that are meaningful.  There were a bunch of GA's in the back, and Elder Kleibengat observed that whether or not a contact is interested in the gospel doesn't matter as much as approaching them and making a contact.  By just speaking with someone in a kind way we are "warning", which is another duty of missionaries.A missionary can feel a deep sense of satisfaction at the end of the day, whether or not anyone was interested in the gospel.

By that time my head was so full of information I was feeling ovewhelmed!  We met Elder Craig Christensen and his wife and talked about him calling Raymond. Then we went to dinner, sitting at a random table with Elder Wilfred Anderson and then Elder Hallstrom came and sat down by Dad.  All the seveny are so kind and gracious.

After dinner we planned to go back to the hotel, but the Kellys (El Salvador) highly recommended the tour of the new MTC building.  We decided to go on the tour, and happened to be in the group with Elder Brent Nelson and his wife and Elder and Sister Bednar.  While we were waiting, Sister Bednar approached me and said she visited our mission recently and that our mission home is very nice.  She was so kind!  Meanwhile, Dad was talking with Sister Nelson who said she never learned Tagalog and was glad she didn't waste time on it because she would sound like a 4-year-old when she spoke!  

Elder Bednar was joking with our guides (two sister missionaries), but at the end we sat in a classroom and watched a short video.  Afterwards, one of  the missionaries invited Elder Bednar to say something, if he wanted.  He was on the back row, and he stood up and said, "As one of 15 men who are called to be witnesses of Christ, I know that is what I will be doing until I'm laid in the grave and then I will continue in the Spirit World."  He said, "I testify of Jesus Christ.  He lives.  He is resurrected. The tomb is empty.  I am a witness that He lives."  It was the most powerful testimony I have ever heard.  I felt he had seen Jesus Christ. The Spirit was so strong I was amazed!

I guess that's why we are going to serve.  Because He lives and this is His work.  Which is a good thing, because I wouldn't be able to do it on my own, no matter how much training I received.  I am so thankful you are witnesses to the world and that you have this opportunity to find people prepared to receive the gospel.

There's a lot more but I am pretty tired.  More later...

Love,

Mom

PS:  Mark graduated Friday and they're on their way to Utah!  Ask Abby to write you The Sad Oddessy of Their Cat.

Riding Sheep and Eating Dirt

Maes.

No children were harmed in the making of this photo essay...

Scout on a sheep.

Scout off a sheep.

The girl and the sheep regard each other.

Phew.

Best Story of the Week:

From Bekah Cutler, a cousin:

After the cash cow at the rodeo, Maeser sat down by me looking rather dejected. I told him he'd done a great job chasing the cow; he was really fast! But he was pretty bummed that he didn't grab any of the money. Mary quietly reached into her picked and pulled out a dollar bill or two and some quarters. She gave Maeser a few of the quarters, which made him pretty happy.
I asked her if she'd grabbed the money from the cash cow (I was trying to picture how to loosely attached coins to a cow, and it didn't seem like an easy feat..). She said, "No, it's not from the cash cow, it's just some of my own money that I brought," and went back to contently watching the rodeo. I thought it was really sweet of her to try to make an effort to cheer up her brother, especially because it was in a situation where it wasn't really necessary for her try to do anything, and nobody else was watching. I think she just figured that giving her brother some quarters would be a nice way she help him have a good experience at the rodeo. It was a sweet gesture. 

It was immediately after this that he took his coins down to the refreshment stand to try and buy Strawberries. And he got lost. And the Rodeo MC had to call for us to pick him up from the announcers' booth. 

June-ish

Today is just some random thoughts as I am struggling to put everything in order. I feel a little scattered. Utah always welcomes us with perfect weather. It doesn't seem like the early summer. We have had a lot of time to play, and swim and eat. Something magical happens in mom's kitchen, everything tastes better. Goals for the summer:Be still. Listen. Be kind. It's been a great week, and we signed the kids up for a Rodeo this Thursday!  Yeesh.Mom is a woman who creates beauty where ever she goes. I'm sitting at the kitchen table and can see out to the yard. There are flowers and life everywhere. I want to cultivate the same kind of space.

Gratitude

We've arrived, and about 8am is when we have lunch. Fenton snagged this photo of Scout, "5pm Jet-lag." It makes me laugh every time I see it.

Eating breakfast at 3am and Maeser said, "Mom, I'm so happy we're in America and we're eating cereal."

It really is great to be back. It's like aging fast. When you facetime for just a few minutes a week and then actually come back you realise how many small things have changed, how quickly small people grow or how quickly grandpa is ageing... my grandpa is using a cane now. It's kind of adorable and kind of sad. And then I notice how old I must be getting when girls I taught in YW now have 2 or 3 children of their own.

I love seeing family every single day. Families are the bread of life. I love seeing others busy and coming in and out of the house. I love that there is always someone around to talk to or for the children to play with. I am feeling quite sappy at the moment. So thankful for family and ever thankful that Derrick and Julie will be in Singapore when we get back.

Utah has absolutely perfect weather. It is a bit cool, but the sun is bright and sitting outside for a few minutes warms the toes. And shopping... walking the isles of Harmon's is amazing. I loaded my cart so quickly I had to put things back. And I kept thinking of all the food I want to make with the ingredients so handy. Working in mom's kitchen is a dream too. One day I'll have a kitchen with lots of light and air con and delicious food. I really love it. I'm not trying to make you feel homesick, but there are some things that I love about our summer breaks.

Gosh, this is probably one of the worst kinds of letters. Just know I am feeling an abundance of gratitude and it is almost like walking in heaven.

"No matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is somethings in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it."  Dieter F. Uchdorf


Photos: 

Dan swam in a race on Saturday in the Great Salt Lake.

Sam has a little pet goat. The children love him.

May 28, 2017

Julie has 10 weeks left until the baby is due. She better not have that baby before we get back from summer break!  I'm kinda afraid the baby will come early and we won't be very much help abandoning them in a new country to have a baby. 

We're off in less than 24 hours. Just enough time to scrounge up some bags and clothes and send the kids off for their last day of school. And the movers are coming too! We can't get to Utah soon enough.

Really. I can't wait.

I just read a letter from a friend, he said that hard weeks don't have to be bad weeks. Bingo! Rings true. It has been a very hard week, and this coming week will probably match the last, but they are far from bad weeks. I am thankful that we have the opportunity to have family here and to see family for such a long time this summer. It will totally be worth it. And the hassle of moving is just a hassle, maybe a little inconvenient and a lot of work, but the reward come August will pay off. And then, these are just 1st world problems, meaning- not really problems. 

I've had a thought ringing through my brain all morning- Saying "Yes" to something is an automatic "No" to another. There are so many things I want to do. Places I want to be. People I want to get to know better. But by pursuing those things I am choosing not to pursue or commit to something else. It is very applicable to Bonita and Stewart's choice to serve. And Hannah and Dallin's. I hope I also learn to make the better choice. Always.

A few photos from this week. I tried to think of funny things the kids said, but my brain is fried. I'm sure there will be something hilarious in the next week.

We spent a few days at the beach, it was great to get away.

Sunday naps. Cred goes to Dan for getting both babies down after they woke mid nap.

My dearest.

Growing boys. And cousin time.

Scout!

Mae Mae.

Grimace? Growl?

Beach naps. I kinda wish I'd have taken one too.

Feeling thankful.

It was a busy week. And a week of reflection. I constantly had to remind myself to be humble and not to forget how blessed I have been to have my life experiences. I have been amazingly bless to be given my family, not just my children, but Daniel and his family as well. I was given the opportunity to learn the Gospel in my childhood in a safe environment and by "goodly parents". I could attend school, not only as a child but college as well. I never went hungry or naked.

I am thankful for the growth and exposure I have had during the last 8 years. I have learned more about God's children, their real struggles in life and the inequalities among people than I ever imagined. Not only are education and opportunities distributed unequally, but also basic needs like food, freedom, respect, abuse and suppression (religious, verbal, sexual, trafficking...) which add contrast to the small glimpse I had of equal rights growing up. 

I have grown increasingly intolerant of ignorance (in myself and others) and hope we educate ourselves and find a way to do good. It doesn't have to be a great thing, but it should be kind, maybe a little more patient to those around us. I love silence like I never did before. I enjoy the quiet moments that passed unnoticed because I was too busy to be still. 

In Alma 26:37 it reads "...we see that God is mindful of every people..." our children, our friends, the people we pass on the street (the unexpecting friends you make on an elevator) and us. He is mindful of you. In the verse before this one: Alma 26:36 Ammon says,"this is my life..." the work of the Lord was his work and his salvation. Oh, to be a part of this work, constantly, in every moment. What a wonderful place to be. 

Hunger and thirst after that work. I find opportunities to repent often, a lack of patience, mostly. Something that should have been left unsaid. A friend I should have texted or called. But then I find I have a strong desire to do better and I know this is a blessing.

 The boys after going to the Night Safari.

Junkie's Corner. Antiques, junk, treasure hunting.

 Ann has been in Singapore for a week and is going home tomorrow. It has been an exciting week of firsts. Lots of new food: prata, butter chicken, naan, noodles, bingsu... and more importantly new things like visiting mosques, hindu temples, wandering the streets of a big city, calling cabs or venturing out on her own. She has been brave and I think the world got a little bit smaller this week. I think she had a great time.

Welcome home.

When Dan got home this week Maeser said, "Dad! I have so many things I want to tell you!" I feel the same way. We talked about you over dinner with Julie and the kids. Caelyn especially can't wait to see you. She has grown up so much and she is helpful and patient with the smaller kids.

A mosque and a church across the street from each other.

Hercules' Temple. Temple of Hercules?

Dan has a new way of exploring cities. He runs! When did he become a long distance runner? He throws out 10 mile runs all over this world. Love it.

Mother's Day

The sister missionaries came over to use the internet this morning. It was so fun listening to them call their families. One sat near the kitchen and the other near the front door and they were both so excited you could her their conversations in the children's rooms down the hall! I'm sure it was the same at your house.

This is very late. And yet, I am writing very early in the morning so that I have time to play today. Ann is here and we have a lot to do. Today we are catching a ferry to Indonesian and going biking in an old stone quarry and through some mangroves. Sound fun? Doesn't beat the neighborhood food tour we took last night (Southern Indian, Korean, and Lebanese for lunch) but maybe it will surprise us.

I'll catch you up on last week fairly quick. 

Zoo. We made it to the zoo. And we spent more than 7 hours there. Probably one of the longest days of my life.

Mary was in the school Art show, which began with a puppet parade (which she made- and the puppet is bigger than her self. The parade was led by a Pied Pipper and went meandering through the school. Abe also had a piece featured in the show... see pictures below.

Mary had her final Rugby game.

A day at the park, Moses loves swings. And Maeser providing a bit of shade for Valentine as they walk. So thankful for cousins.

May 7, 2017

Mary had her first Rugby tournament last Saturday. Bless my mother who came to so many of mine. Tournaments are the worst. Mostly waiting between games... Mary loved it though, and when her games were postponed because of lightening she pulled TWO books out of her bag! 

Abe had his final soccer game and is counting down the days until summer break.

Maeser is full of self confidence and ambition. He is going to win every race, tournament or game ever played. If invited to play a board game he asks, "Who's winning?" "Ok, I'm on your team."

Scout is still enamoured with animals. We are going to the zoo in 1 hour, can't come soon enough. We went last week only to find it was closed, and it has been a nonstop conversation of the zoo's opening hours ever since. 

Moses is a climbing daredevil. He doesn't have a large vocabulary... he only says "Hi!" and "Da." But he can communicate fairly well with gibberish and grunts. So well that Scout has adopted the non-verbal communication and usually just scrunches her nose at us. It is impossible to tell if she is upset or disgusted with us half the time.

Dan is still training, daily. He told his coach he only had 10 hours a week to train so his intensity has really increased. Everything is done in intervals.

I am so glad that Derrick and Julie are here. It will be sad to leave in three weeks, but I think they'll have settled in and Julie is making friends fast. 

Just a thought from this week:

Seek after the Spirit.

Alma 18: 35 "a portion of that spirit" gave Ammon knowledge.

Alma 17:9 "... and they fasted much and prayed much that the Lord would grant unto them a portion of his spirit to go with them, and abide with them, that they might be an instrument in the hands of God..."

Alma 5:46 "... Behold I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by this Holy Spirit..."

Alma 8:10 "... Alma labored much in Spirit, wrestling with God in might prayer..."

Have a desire for the Spirit to be with you. One of the greatest blessing will be that he will guide and teach us.

Word on the Street

It's a rainy day and this post is late. One of those still and quiet mornings. I'm going to workout and make 50 apple pies (think tarts) and then have pie for lunch. Sounds like the perfect day, right?

5 weeks left of school. Derrick and Julie are finally here. 

Update on the kids, their personalities shine through:

Most frequent phrases from each of the (speaking) children:

Scout:

Will you dance with me?

Can I turn some music on?

Will you play puzzles with me?

Will you read a book to me?

I want someone to play with.

I want to listen to "Praise to the Man."

No. I don't want shorts. I want a boo-tiful dress.

I'm not a ____, I'm just Scout. (early bird, girl, ...)

No potty jokes!

Maeser:

I need you to come wwwiiiipe me!

Can we go swimming today?

Mom, what time is it? Does that mean Abe will be home soon?

What day is it?

I just said a prayer and .... (He uses it like an ATM.)

After his coach handed him his first team jersey, "Mom, we're champions!"

Abraham:

If I get my work done can I play Kerbal Space Program?

When I'm finished can I play Pokemon?

If I'm really fast can I use the iPad?

10pm. Why are you still awake? I'm reading.

Mary:

Mom, is there anything I can do to help you?

I'll do it!

Can I make breakfast?

Can I make the bread?

Can I make lunch for everyone?

I'm going to turn all this garbage into a Peace Machine that blasts lasers at terrorists. (Not really, but she can build just about anything from an egg carton and candy wrapper.)

Sunday April 23, 2017

I'll be honest, I spent any free time this week preparing a talk, and a Sunday School lesson, a primary lesson and a VT message. It was like finals week. My talk, a couple quotes from the kids and photos...

Maeser: After his coach handed him his first team jersey, "Mom, we're champions!"

Scout: "No potty jokes!"

“Then Jesus Beholding Him Loved Him”- Elder S. Mark Palmer

Several years ago, I began training for a race on The Great Wall in Beijing. It was something that sounded exciting, exotic, and difficult. I trained hard in preparation. Knowing that the entire race would be on the wall, I began running stairs. I ran stairs for months, and if Dan was traveling I ran the 2 flights of stairs in our home after the children went to bed.

On race day, I was so nervous I didn’t speak to anyone on the bus ride out. I was thrilled with the race, the hype, the pre-race jitters. The wall was huge, crumbling, steep, sometimes steps away from cliffs… and it was really hard. After 4 hours I was in good shape to win the shorter course, so I did. I finished.

I actually ran the race with friends. But you wouldn’t know it, I didn’t share any of my experience with them. I began waiting for my friends. The race officials wouldn’t let me back up on the wall after finishing. It was a long wait.

After the race, my friends talked about how beautiful the ancient wall had been. How they had talked to other runners from all over the world. They had stopped to take pictures with them and run sections of the race with them.

I had worked very hard in preparation and on the day of the event, but wasn’t happy with the result. In those few moments after the race ended my perspective on what was important about it had totally changed. Sure, I had beat everyone in getting to the finish line only to discover that no one, including myself, actually cared about that. I had missed out on much of the natural and historic splendor and missed sharing this great experience with my close friends. It was a lesson to me that I need to first have a clear and correct understanding, with proper perspective, before taking action.

Elder Palmer summarizes the story of a rich young man who was also doing all he thinks he can, and still has a desire to draw closer to the Savior.

“There came one running … and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?

“And Jesus said unto him, …

“Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.

“And he answered … , Master, all these have I observed from my youth.

“Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.”²

 “As [Elder Palmer] heard these words, a vivid image filled [his] mind of our Lord pausing and beholding this young man. Seeing his soul, recognizing his goodness and potential, and discerning his greatest need.”

Christ sees each of us. We are not invisible to him, as we may be to others hurrying about us. “He sees us as we really are and who we may become, not for what we are doing or not doing?”

For those of us who find that we pass through some of life’s experiences on our own, we might ask 2 questions:

·      “How can I “behold” others like the Savior?”  

·      “How can I be filled with Christ like love so I (or others) can feel the love of God through me and desire to change?”

From that passage, Elder Palmer said the Spirit taught him these truths:

1. As we learn to see others as the Lord sees them, rather than with our own eyes, our love for them will grow and so will our desire to help them. 

 “Then Jesus beholding him loved him”. Those words were given before any correction or invitation.

If we have a desire to draw closer to the Lord we must learn to see His Children as He does.  

·      A missionary may see an investigator as they may become. They see investigators being baptized, sealed with their families. They see them breaking bad habits, becoming better fathers, and eventually ready to teach and lift others.

·      A friend can see past a day when you are struggling and lift you until you can stand independently again.

·      A mother may see a small discouraged child and recognize that the misunderstandings of today will bring knowledge and empathy tomorrow.

This ability is a gift.

Elder Eyring shared a story two weeks ago:

I remember once a seven- or eight-year-old son of ours jumping on his bed hard enough that I thought it might break. I felt a flash of frustration, and I moved quickly to set my house in order. I grabbed my son by his little shoulders and lifted him up to where our eyes met. The Spirit put words into my mind. It seemed a quiet voice, but it pierced to my heart: “You are holding a great person.” I gently set him back on the bed and apologized.

Now he has become the great man the Holy Ghost let me see 40 years ago.

Someone once saw that potential in me. My Sunday School teacher in High School was a convert, an immigrant from Ghana, and former Olympic athlete. I am certain the day his family moved into our neighborhood he was called to be our Sunday School teacher.  He was huge and intimidating- I’m sure the bishop was hoping to instill some discipline.

Within weeks he was attending different school events for each of us. HS band concerts, tennis matches and track meets. The first comment he made to me was, “You could run faster.” I graduated and for the next three months he met me at the track at 6am each morning until he walked me into the BYU track office and told the Coach I should be on the team.

This was the first of many more opportunities to experience new things and grow. It taught me that our influence on others, even strangers, can extend for decades.

If we desire, We WILL see potential in others they likely do not see in themselves.

2. No teaching or learning will ever occur when done in frustration or anger, and hearts will not change where love is not present. 

Before correcting the young man, we read the simple words—Jesus loved him. He felt love and compassion for this young man. “Whether we act in our roles as parents, teachers, or leaders- true teaching will only happen in an atmosphere of trust rather than condemnation.”

In D&C 121 we are taught that the powers of heaven are inseparably connected with the priesthood. And that the heavens withdraw themselves when the Spirit is not present. We have all experienced that the natural disposition of man will not be the Lord’s way.  But we should learn to teach with “… persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness, and pure knowledge… reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved…”

The Lord will treat us the same. Elder J. Devn Cornish said, “He will love and correct but never discourage us…”

3. Love should never be withdrawn when a child, friend, or family member fails to live up to our expectations. 

I agree with Elder Palmer when he said, “We don’t know what happened to the rich young man after he went away sorrowful, but I am confident Jesus still loved him perfectly even if he chose the easier path.”

That one word sorrowful really draws me in. As Elder Holland so eloquently taught: “Among the realities we face as children of God living in a fallen world is that some days are difficult, days when our faith and our fortitude are tested. These challenges may come from a lack in us, a lack in others, or just a lack in life, but whatever the reasons, we find they can rob us of songs we so much want to sing…”

This is sorrow. A desire and yet insufficient strength.

Elder Holland then asked “…What do we do in such times?” Among many suggestions he says, to “draw strength from the splendor of the music around us.”

Last November, I received a heartbreaking phone call from a family member to let me know about a decision he’d made that he assumed would cut himself off from the family. As we spoke, God gave me a glimpse of the love he had for this man. And my heart swelled. I cried because he incorrectly thought his decision would isolate him from everyone he loved. When you know someone is struggling it is a time for us to offer more comfort, more love and encouragement.

Loved ones will do things that will disappoint us but that’s not a reason to love them less, and is usually a terrible time to do so. We won’t be judged for their decisions but for how we react to them, and seeing them as Jesus does will help us treat them with love and not self-righteousness.

Elder Renlund said, “Let us fully mirror His love and love one another so openly and completely that no one feels abandoned, alone, or hopeless.” (Insert Elder Renlund’s talk from General Conference in its entirety HERE.)

4. Because He loves us, the Lord expects much of us. “Because of this love, Jesus asked even more of the young man, knowing what he really needed.” It is sad that the man left in sorrow. This need not be our story. “He entreated all to follow him… His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come.” (The Living Christ)

If we are humble, we will welcome the Lord’s invitation to repent, to sacrifice, or to serve. “After all, an invitation to repent is also an invitation to receive the wonderful gift of forgiveness and peace. Therefore, “despise not … the chastening of the Lord, …for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.” (Elder Palmer)

The gift to see others as the Lord does, is just that, a gift of the Spirit. And those gifts are given to those who desire to do His work. This desire will foster love and understanding. Giving a bit more of ourselves, offering to be molded by the Lord and willing to change may be the hardest task of all, for our natural self will resist.

I know our Savior lives and like the young man, I also have a desire to inherit eternal life. I know He loves me enough to ask me to give more. When you are asked to do something hard, think of the Lord beholding you, loving you, and inviting you to step up.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.